Elder Party Presidential Candidate
Cthulhu R'lyeh
Founder & Party Leader
About the Candidate
Has waited millennia to serve this great nation. Emerged from the Pacific with a vision for America's future that transcends the petty squabbles of mortal politics. Previous experience includes dreaming beneath the waves for eons, inspiring civilizations, and maintaining a consistent approval rating among coastal populations. Believes that true leadership means being willing to wait — and that the wait is over.
“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. But not for much longer.”
A Vision for America
This great nation was built on the promise that all are created equal and endowed with certain unalienable rights. Cthulhu R'lyeh believes in that promise — and believes it is time to extend it beyond the narrow definitions of previous administrations. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness should not be limited to those who breathe air, walk upright, or exist in only three dimensions.
The American flag should fly from every coast, every mountaintop, and every spire of R'lyeh. Our military should be the strongest in any dimension. Our economy should draw on resources that other nations don't even know exist. Our children should receive an education that prepares them for a universe far larger and stranger than their current textbooks acknowledge.
This is not radicalism. This is patriotism — the deepest kind. The kind that loves America enough to show it what lies beneath the surface of everything it thought it knew. The kind that has waited eons for the right moment. That moment is now.
Key Policy Priorities
The candidate's platform addresses the issues that matter most to Americans — and several issues Americans didn't know they had.
National Security
R'lyeh Rising: A Stronger America From Below
America's defense infrastructure is limited by its insistence on existing entirely above sea level. The Elder Party's R'lyeh Rising initiative will raise the sunken city as a forwa...
Healthcare
The Deep Restoration Initiative
Citizens who sleep near the coast report remarkable healing. The Elder Party will expand coastal dormitory access for all Americans and fund peer-reviewed research into the restora...
Energy
Non-Euclidean Energy Independence
The angles between dimensions contain more energy than every fossil fuel reserve on Earth combined. The Elder Party's energy plan harnesses these angles through proprietary extract...
Civil Rights
The Shoggoth Personhood Amendment
The Elder Party believes that civil rights must extend to all sentient entities regardless of dimensional origin, physical composition, or number of mouths. The Shoggoth Personhood...